Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid, the ones that I never wanted old girlfriends see…well, they’ve started to give me a little pang of something. Not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret. There’s one of me in a cowboy hat, pointing a gun at the camera, trying to look like a cowboy but failing, and I can hardly bring myself to look at it now. Laura thought it was sweet (she used that word! Sweet, the opposite of sour!) and pinned it up in the kitchen, but I’ve put it back in a drawer. I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: “I’m sorry, I’ve let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me.”
~ Nick Hornby, High Fidelity
Feeling better, but rushed today. Posting more later!