Binary Goddess

Adventure Time!


Riddick and Dodgeball

Last weekend Caroline and I went to the drive-in again. Going to the drive-in is cool btw, you can bring your own snack, it’s 7 bux a carload, always a double feature, and the seats are far more comfy than most theaters. Fortunately her car has decent speakers so the sound ain’t too shabby either.

Anyway, last weekend. They were playing The Chronicles of Riddick, and Dodgeball. Unfortunately they showed Dodgeball first so we couldn’t watch Riddick and leave before being subjected to … DODGEBALL.

So yeah, Dodgeball first.

Yuck.

OK, let’s move on to Riddick!

Part of the reason I haven’t posted until now is I hadn’t seen Pitch Black. Everyone I talked to said that Pitch Black was better. I didn’t want to say anything until I had seen this other masterpiece. Fortunately the drive-in was playing crap this week so Carolyn rented it and (Thanks C!) left it for me overnight so I could watch it three more times, once with the commentary with David Twohy and Vin Diesel, and that other guy who played Johns.. yeah.

Obviously I liked Pitch Black :) Or rather, *loved* it and must own it on dvd, possibly at the expense of life giving food. The story was tight, the sets were gritty and glorious, and vin diesel is a godly example of marquee manliness.

And now a spoiler free opinion on The Chronicles of Riddick.

I liked it. It was definitely a totally different film. They probably could have pulled all references to Riddick out and given the character a new name and would likely have gotten better reviews, as fans are *very* critical of the subjects of their worship.

:::Now, there are some spoilers after this, so I’ll put it behind a cut, only click or scroll past this point on the post if you have seen the film or if you don’t care if I kill it for you:::

You have been warned!

.

And here we go!

These are the things I absolutely have to pick apart.

Let’s start with the Crematoria bullshit. That whole bit felt like it was slapped in as an afterthought. The sets looked totally fake, and the crazy cgi spikey dog things looked.. I don’t know.. not good, and what was their *point*? edit: actually I know now what their point was. I did some further reading and found that there is a flash animation type cartoon with a bit on Riddick before Pitch Black. There is a scene in it where they lockdown the slam and they basically just yell for the inmates to get in their cells and then release a bunch of killer german shephards. If the inmates arent locked down, they get mauled by the dogs. Vin runs into one of these dogs and after a big of a staredown, he pets the dog. Later a guard tries to set this same dog on Riddick, and he tells the dog to sic the guard, which it does. I don’t know why they felt the need to repeat this scene in the film, with what I can only assume to be an indiginous life form similar to a dog Also, I wan’t to know how these people know that the planets surface goes up to only 700 degrees when the thermometer they have goes up to exactly 700 degrees and no further. AND, if it is *really* 700 degrees out there, how does ANYONE survive by hiding behind a ROCK? wouldn’t it still be hot behind the rock?

Vin was the only cool thing about any of those scenes, being even then a godly example of marquee manliness.

The “Furian” nonsense was a little irritating. Obviously Riddick isn’t the absolutely last Furian, one of the Necromongers was one and he had the presence of mind to let Riddick go and walk out to a fiery death. If only a Furian could whup up on the head Necromonger, why didn’t he just kill him himself? He had direct access to the guy!

Ok, so he’s all dead and the (assumedly) last Furian (the One) is Riddick. When he pops down into the throne room *filled* with Necromongers, mr. all up in charge says “no no, don’t do your job and guard me, I’ll take care of this”. And they take him quite literally, as they stand there and watch even when he obviously is getting his ass beat. Strange philosophy, why even have guards if you don’t want em to guard ya??

And what the HELL is a Furian? I can only hope there is a sequel that will explain this further.

“Are you with me Kyra? “No asshole, I’m DEAD!” edit: actually this is unfair, it was a very emotionally charged scene and Vin did a good job with it.

I’ll probably buy this when it comes out, probably when it goes on sale, but not until I buy Pitch Black. 8 out of 10

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